Basho's Haiku Becomes a Tanka

Double Vista Bay.
Taking leave at autumn's end.
We part, like these shells

opening on tender flesh,
like eyelids upon the eye.
     --Basho


               or


Double Vista Bay.
Taking leave at autumn's end.
We part, opening

like these shells on tender flesh,
like eyelids upon the eye.


I've been reworking this translation a bit.  Basho's haiku always comes out as a tanka (a haiku plus the two seven-syllable lines at the end).  A measure perhaps of Basho's greatness, the concision of Japanese, and/or my own ham-handedness.