9/11/11: REWRITTEN ALL THESE TEN YEARS AND NEVER RIGHT

Bomb them with Bud Lite.

Fill their skies with holograms of Vanessa del Rio.
Jam their transmissions with Bishop Sheen, Soupy Sales, Madalyn Murray,
and Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan.
Drop Burqas over them from attack helicopters.
Put up posters of their ankles in every post office.
When they surrender, send them Care Packages from    
     schoolboys and schoolgirls filled with centerfolds and Business Suit
     Barbies.
Take wounded prisoners to Drs. Johnson, Hanson, Jansen,
     Habib, and Horowitz.
Staff POW camps with Hindus and Buddhists and Free Methodists
     who guarded their local mosques.
Torture them with the home movies of the Trade Center dead.
Offer them my library card if they talk.
Bomb them with Bud Lite.
We'll keep the High Life.